joanna

matt and i did another big book purge this week. i do it every time that i move, but i hadn’t...

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:15:00 -0700

matt and i did another big book purge this week. i do it every time that i move, but i hadn’t moved in 2 1/2 years, so they had really accumulated. if it didn’t fall in the categories: a) loved it so much that i might read it again, b) reference, or c) milo might need it for school, it went into two huge bags to sell at powell’s, and all the ones that they didn’t take are going to be donated to the local library branch.

i really don’t understand holding onto books that you will probably never read again. and if you don’t like them enough to read them again, why would you loan them out? are you keeping them on the shelves just to prove that you read them? to impress people who are coming over? why do you need to prove to anyone that you read books? it’s so strange to me.

today is matthew’s 28th birthday. i think that one of my gifts to him will be letting him talk...

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 12:21:40 -0700

today is matthew’s 28th birthday. i think that one of my gifts to him will be letting him talk in his daniel plainview voice without making him stop. really he just likes to say: “i am an oil man,” and, “this is my son, h.w.” over and over.

the celebrity in this case is me, john hodgman

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 11:00:10 -0700

the celebrity in this case is me, john hodgman

kfan:I love this meme.You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have:1. One weapon.2. One...

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 10:04:34 -0700

kfan:

I love this meme.
You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have:
1. One weapon.
2. One song blasting on the speakers.
3. One famous person to fight alongside you.

Weapon can be real or fictional; you may assume endless ammo if applicable. Person can be real or fictional.

1. the suit from iron man, partly so that none of my bits are exposed

2. evil - interpol

3. crush from american gladiators. what? she’s hot.

we’ve listened to belle & sebastian’s “get me away from here, i’m...

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:01:31 -0700

we’ve listened to belle & sebastian’s “get me away from here, i’m dying” 2-3 times per day for the last three months. it’s like the button we press on milo’s brain to tell him to sleep.

beats the hell out of raffi.

wait, am i alone in feeling that “wang” is the funniest word for penis?come on: WANG.

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 14:56:40 -0700

wait, am i alone in feeling that “wang” is the funniest word for penis?

come on: WANG.

i want to be friends with, installment #1

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 13:24:33 -0700

kfan:

We call this “Dinner Guests” at our house, i.e. the famous people we would like to have over for dinner some time. Preferably all at once. My current list includes:
Maura Tierney
Stephen Merchant
Leisha Haley
Li-Young Lee
Killer Mike

no, it’s a different game altogether! i don’t want these people to come over to my house once. i want to be able to call them and say, “hey do you want to go get bubble tea and then come over and watch my tivo’ed episode of battlestar gallactica?” i don’t want to have to cook or dress up for these relationships. stephen merchant! stephen merchant means i’m buying at least one bottle of wine.

i want to be friends with, installment #1

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 10:57:08 -0700

pierre bernard, of late night with conan o’brien

nate dern, the singer in the star wars band from season 3 of beauty and the geek

milo and i were walking home from wild oats yesterday when a...

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 15:19:00 -0700

milo and i were walking home from wild oats yesterday when a steampunk (which are rare in portland, despite being the home of the decemberists) passed us on a bicycle, singing to himself, and as he passed me, he sang loudly, “that’s a cute BAY-bee, yeah yeah YEAH!”

is my attraction to guys in western style shirts and tight jeans to be blamed on growing up in texas...

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 10:12:42 -0700

is my attraction to guys in western style shirts and tight jeans to be blamed on growing up in texas or a childhood crush on program director andy travis on wkrp in cincinnati?

matt just called milo a “hassle,” (specifically: “you, my friend, are a...

Fri, 30 May 2008 11:27:58 -0700

matt just called milo a “hassle,” (specifically: “you, my friend, are a hassle!”) and i heard: “asshole.” oh the laughs!

remember how good of a movie you thought tremors was when it came out? kevin bacon! the dad from...

Fri, 30 May 2008 11:24:59 -0700

remember how good of a movie you thought tremors was when it came out? kevin bacon! the dad from family ties! reba mcintyre!

The Indy Rules

Wed, 28 May 2008 11:11:51 -0700

mokin:

For an Indiana Jones movie to succeed, it must have:

Nazis

an opening not directly related to the rest of the film

Sallah

Marcus Brody

a quest for a biblical object

a desert setting

It must not have:

a young sidekick

primitive civilizations

matt is desperately trying to convince me that nurses in labor and delivery wards used to suck the...

Tue, 27 May 2008 10:38:53 -0700

matt is desperately trying to convince me that nurses in labor and delivery wards used to suck the baby boys’ penises to get them to stop crying.

either:

a) matt is lying and waiting until i cave and show the tiniest inclination towards believing him so that he can gloat and call me gullible or

b) baby blowjobs.

i don’t know which is worse. i don’t want to live in a world where one of these is the case!

this just in

Fri, 23 May 2008 10:29:16 -0700

U2’s joshua tree: still fucking awesome.

that takes the cake

Wed, 21 May 2008 16:58:47 -0700

my 80-year-old aunt printed out an email forward and mailed it to me. you know, through the postal system.

every once in a while, when milo wakes up from his nap, the very first thing he does after opening...

Sat, 17 May 2008 14:00:22 -0700

every once in a while, when milo wakes up from his nap, the very first thing he does after opening his eyes and looking at me is he makes a huge frowny face like he’s about to burst into tears. i just keep smiling at him, and then he smiles, and then he decides to be happy.

when someone says: “please let me know if you’re interested,” do you take this to...

Thu, 15 May 2008 15:09:00 -0700

when someone says: “please let me know if you’re interested,” do you take this to mean: “please tell me if you are or if you aren’t interested?” or: “if you’re interested, please let me know?”

we get it; it's good for you

Thu, 15 May 2008 12:00:00 -0700

something that irritates me about veg cookbooks is that so many of them start with a 10-20 page (i’ve seen 40 pages before) introduction that is largely about why they are veg and about how going veg totally revolutionized their lives. raw cookbooks are the worst about this. i don’t own a single raw cookbook that doesn’t have, at the minimum, 20 pages about why the person is raw and how good it is for you.

is this not the epitome of preaching to the choir? i bought the book! obviously i’m interested in veg cooking. give me a break.

i understand a couple of pages to familiarize you with the author and their cooking style, followed by the standard stock the pantry type pages. but when it’s just going on and on and on about yourself, accompanied by photos of you. ugh. ugh! get over yourself. get onto the recipes already.

"jimmy would not like this picture of her. it makes her neck look fat."

Sat, 10 May 2008 12:11:43 -0700

“jimmy would not like this picture of her. it makes her neck look fat.”

- matt, while editing photos that he took of one of our cats